Out of My Hands, Out of My Head

How I work with questions I can’t answer—and what I do when I still have to choose

When I face a question I can’t immediately answer,
and I’m genuinely interested in solving it,

I sit with it.
I turn it over.
I search.
Sometimes I follow a “what if” just far enough to see where it might go.

But when I hit an unknown—
a missing piece I can’t verify, an assumption I can’t test—
I don’t push it.

Almost always, just one key unknown or assumption is enough to shift the process.
That’s when I send the question out.
Not to someone. Not to anywhere in particular.
Just out—into the unknown.

If there’s an answer, another clue, or a piece of the puzzle that’s going to come my way—great.
If not, then that’s just the way it is.
Either way, answering this question is, for the moment, totally out of my hands.

Oftentimes, something comes back.

Sometimes it’s sparked by something I see or hear:
a headline, a lyric, a limping dog.
Anything can trigger the return.

Other times it comes back simply as a direct thought popping directly into my head.

And very often, what comes back isn’t the full solution—
just a small piece that shifts my direction.
Sometimes it’s quiet.
Sometimes not.
I’ve made huge, immediate changes to my life and my thinking from some of these gifts.

Sometimes I don’t even realize it’s connected
until much later.
Sometimes I’ve forgotten the original question completely.
But that makes sense.
Because when I cast the question, I meant it:
It’s out of my hands.
And if it’s out of my hands, it’s out of my head.
I don’t ruminate.

But the process continues—
I’m no longer the one steering.

And then there are moments
when the question remains unanswered
but the clock runs out.
A decision has to be made.

I don’t pretend to know.
I just choose.
Sometimes the closest restaurant.
Sometimes the one that feels slightly less wrong.

It’s not about solving anything—
it’s about accepting the moment I’m in.
That too is part of the rhythm:

Turn it over.
Recognize the shift.
Send it out.
Keep going.
And when I must—I choose.