Worry Less. Calm Down. Let It Go.

I’ve heard it all. Here’s what actually helps.

When I’ve been troubled, I’ve noticed three main types of “help” people offer.

1. They tell me the problem isn’t real.
They say I’m overreacting or that it’s not worth worrying about. That kind of advice is just a disguised way of saying my judgment is wrong. And if I accept that, I lose trust in myself. If I can’t trust my own judgment, I’m lost. That doesn’t help—it makes things worse.

2. They talk about cavemen.
They say our stress response evolved to help us run from lions, so it’s out of place in the modern world. But that doesn’t make sense to me. The modern world has its own predators. Going broke and ending up homeless can ruin your life just as fast as a lion. The danger is real.

3. They say: distract yourself.
Watch something. Do something. Get your mind off it. The goal, again, is to stop thinking about the problem—as if that’s the fix. But seeking endless distraction is a monumental and exhausting job. I’m not interested in taking it on.

What actually helps me is this:

I ask myself one question—
Would more adrenaline help right now?

Sometimes the answer is yes. If I’m being followed down a dark alley, I want all the adrenaline I can get.

But if I’m worried about my job or my future, it’s not adrenaline I need. I don’t need more blood in my legs. I don’t need to fight or flee.

And here’s the key—
It’s not about convincing myself the problem isn’t real.
It’s not about calming down.
It’s not about forgetting.

It’s about this one thing:
Unclenching.

I don’t have to force a single thought out of my head. I just drop the physical response. I let the adrenaline taper off. It doesn’t fix everything.
The thought will likely still be there.
I might still feel bad.

But without adrenaline, it fades faster. I don’t feed it. I don’t fight it.
I just stop tightening around it.

It helps me much more than anything that tries to fight the thought.